Health Spotlight: Caught Inside

Hey Ya'll-

So I had a UCLA checkup on Monday and there is good news (which I shared on Facebook) and some interesting news. The good news is that the tumor is still shrinking, and who knows if it will stop shrinking! This is much to be praised, and Matt and I are elated for this good news. Now for the interesting news, and the reason for a whole blog update, rather than a simple status update on Facebook.

What: So the tumor has shrunk! Party hats are needed indeed! But there is a cyst that is attached to the tumor. This cyst is what is causing the hydrocephalus (AKA for my brain fluid to barely drain down my spine). It seems to appear to the Neuro-Oncologist that the cyst is growing. When I say growing, I mean very slowly. I have had this cyst for 3+ years and the doctor is just now detecting potential growth.

Why: We don't know. There is a lot of unknowns. I am a rare case. Making it difficult for doctors to figure out what exactly I have since it is right in the middle of my head. Why this particular piece of information is important: If the cyst is growing, I will start to demonstrate symptoms again, which will lead to surgery.

Next Step: This week, Matt, my friends, family and myself have been praying very purposefully. We have been praying for my desire- which is no surgery, and more importantly, for the cyst to disappear. There has been much focus on the tumor (AKA Moriarty), but there is a new villain in town (AKA the cyst which I have dubbed Irene Adler) that we can be praying over.

The doctors met last night and decided that the enlargement as of now is not significant (which I am thankful. So not ready for another brain surgery). Matt and I will continue going to UCLA once every four months monitoring the size of the cyst, and monitoring my symptoms.

"Caught Inside" is exactly how I feel right now. It is a surfing term that refers to when a surfer is paddling out and cannot get past the breaking surf to a safe part of the ocean. "This usually means the surfer will have to wait for a lull between the larger breaking waves for a chance to slip into clear water" (surfline.com). So, in non surf terms, this means Matt and I are in limbo. We are waiting between something that can potentially be dangerous, and something that can be clear. We are praying for the lull, and asking God to spare us. If we have to ride the wave, we will, and I guess we are preparing for the ride if we need to.

Limbo sucks. But there are lessons to be learned in waiting. I have tattooed on me "Jehovah Rapha" which means God is healer. I can only hope that I am a tool to show how He is healer.

So, join me in prayer? The storm may never come, the cyst may never shrink, and I may never need surgery, but at least we can lift these thoughts in prayer.