Just Do It- Writing Tip

So I looked at my calendar today and saw that I needed to post a blog on writing. This blog is mostly to inform a couple groups of people about different types of non-profit organizations, people who need writing tips, and to update my personal friends and family on my health.

Today I was working on coming up with a writing tip. I had a few outlined that I wanted to cover but none of them were really holding my attention. So I decided to jump on my freelance website and apply for a few writing jobs only to discover that I have lost not one but four jobs that specialize in the field of sports writing and was replaced by males.

Not going to lie, first reaction was to put my head down on the table and knock it a couple times to make sure I saw that correctly. Next. Vent on Facebook. Ok, done. Then I decided to write a blog on it. If you are a person who advocates female rights, this blog isn't for you. If you are a male that advocates the equality/necessity for woman to be out of the work force, this blog is not for you. This blog is for people who have a really hard time pursuing work because "they probably won't get it" or "nothing will happen".

Freelance writing tends to be very different than "Creative Writing". You are generally hired by someone else for your skill of writing to come up with articles, edit books, and weigh in on projects. You as a writer adopt the voice of the company that hired you and complete the job to suite what they are thinking. There are very few sports writing jobs on freelance websites, but when they come up, I generally jump right on them. Yeah, I totally know that I most likely won't get them. But there is a part of me that really holds out that someone will give me the opportunity to prove myself.

So the tip: Just go for it. You are probably reading this and going "This is dumb. I know this." But trust me. I know when you actually get around to doing whatever you claim you are going to do, you freeze. You start to question your motives and abilities. It doesn't have to be just writing. It could be the mere fact that you were approached and asked to take your hobby and turn it into something to entertain. Or surviving your season in sports, and even school.

This is the first step in doing anything. You have to be more than willing. There are plenty of people in the world who are willing to do anything. It's when you actually try and do it, that is when a difference can be made.

So, sorry if you were looking for me to rag on the male population. Just ain't gonna happen. Just gonna keep trying.

Health Spotlight: Caught Inside

Hey Ya'll-

So I had a UCLA checkup on Monday and there is good news (which I shared on Facebook) and some interesting news. The good news is that the tumor is still shrinking, and who knows if it will stop shrinking! This is much to be praised, and Matt and I are elated for this good news. Now for the interesting news, and the reason for a whole blog update, rather than a simple status update on Facebook.

What: So the tumor has shrunk! Party hats are needed indeed! But there is a cyst that is attached to the tumor. This cyst is what is causing the hydrocephalus (AKA for my brain fluid to barely drain down my spine). It seems to appear to the Neuro-Oncologist that the cyst is growing. When I say growing, I mean very slowly. I have had this cyst for 3+ years and the doctor is just now detecting potential growth.

Why: We don't know. There is a lot of unknowns. I am a rare case. Making it difficult for doctors to figure out what exactly I have since it is right in the middle of my head. Why this particular piece of information is important: If the cyst is growing, I will start to demonstrate symptoms again, which will lead to surgery.

Next Step: This week, Matt, my friends, family and myself have been praying very purposefully. We have been praying for my desire- which is no surgery, and more importantly, for the cyst to disappear. There has been much focus on the tumor (AKA Moriarty), but there is a new villain in town (AKA the cyst which I have dubbed Irene Adler) that we can be praying over.

The doctors met last night and decided that the enlargement as of now is not significant (which I am thankful. So not ready for another brain surgery). Matt and I will continue going to UCLA once every four months monitoring the size of the cyst, and monitoring my symptoms.

"Caught Inside" is exactly how I feel right now. It is a surfing term that refers to when a surfer is paddling out and cannot get past the breaking surf to a safe part of the ocean. "This usually means the surfer will have to wait for a lull between the larger breaking waves for a chance to slip into clear water" (surfline.com). So, in non surf terms, this means Matt and I are in limbo. We are waiting between something that can potentially be dangerous, and something that can be clear. We are praying for the lull, and asking God to spare us. If we have to ride the wave, we will, and I guess we are preparing for the ride if we need to.

Limbo sucks. But there are lessons to be learned in waiting. I have tattooed on me "Jehovah Rapha" which means God is healer. I can only hope that I am a tool to show how He is healer.

So, join me in prayer? The storm may never come, the cyst may never shrink, and I may never need surgery, but at least we can lift these thoughts in prayer.  

Non-Profit Spotlight: The Young And Brave

I have decided to start blogging again, and this time it will not only focus on my health, but have a deeper and more helpful vision. My husband, Matt, and I have been married now for two years, and one of our greatest passions is finding foundations with a purpose. We love organizations like Sevenly that strive to give back to other non-profits that help different people around the world.

I believe that there is a desire and passion within all of us to help people, but a lot of us tend to be so overwhelmed by the needs of others. Where do I start? Who do I help? We tend to be bombarded with donating to this charity, or helping with these people, but have no idea why we should help or who to even help.

Once every four weeks Now Bid Me Run will feature a different organization. I will be hitting mine, my husbands, friends, and even your favorite non-profit organizations. I hope to help others gain passion for non-profits through issues that are important to them.

So, to kick us off I will be featuring the organization The Young and Brave.

Who: The Young and Brave

What: An organization that strives to help build a community of fellow young adult and small children cancer patients who can focus on fighting cancer while fundraising can take place to help raise money to pay for the treatments.

Why: This organization touched Matt, my brother Caleb, his girlfriend Ashley, and myself deeply. Having walked the path of having cancer with these three has been crazy insane, but we stumbled upon this organization and fell head over heels. We couldn't be more thrilled that something like this exists.

How You Can Help: There are two ways you can help if you have a soft spot for young cancer patients: 1. Donate to the foundation. They are solely non-profit, and do not take anything from patients who have done fundraising through them. There are expenses that come from running a foundation and they could use our support! 2. Support a Warrior (aka cancer fighters). These are the people who have cancer and are doing all they can to fight! Treatments cost money. A lot of money. Even with insurance, and it is crippling to have those bills come in while you are fighting.

Where:  http://www.theyoungandbrave.com/

Cancer breaks my heart. The disease is crippling and I thank God for keeping me close to Him during the last three years. My husband and I look forward to supporting this foundation for years to come and helping families beat cancer. This is the foundation that holds my heart. I hope it holds yours.

Call me Lucky...and ridiculous

Dear Solana,

So I am the lucky one huh? I mean after everything that has happened to me, I am the lucky one? Oh, Im not just talking about my disease and the constant pain, Im talking about my life in general. The constant 4ams at Starbucks, quad accidents, 31 moves, heartbreaks, drama, school decisions, and disappointments, and yet through all that I still come out on top.

In Santa Clarita we live in this extremely annoying bubble. You can walk the streets safely and your kids can avoid and unsightly "blemishes" that you would consider dangerous. So, I spent time in San Diego with these "blemishes" surrounding me and thought nothing until I saw four people my age homeless and hungry. Can you even begin to imagine being homeless at the age of 20?

Homeagainsd.org, an organization that is looking to end chronic homelessness, estimates that 8500 people are homeless in central San Diego alone. It is estimated that 2200 of them are under 21. So if you are under the age of 21 this challenge is mostly for you and myself. The next time you or I throw out food, complain about the $150 dollar jeans your bought for you, or think you deserve better than what youve got, think what it would be like on the streets. Humble yourself and count your blessings.

When my boyfriend and best friend, and I were in the gaslamp district it was literally one bar after the next. Each filled with the skanks and pimps that would drop hundreds of dollars on drinks and other entertainment necessities. We came to the conclusion that if each person at least dropped 50 cents, it would be more than enough to feed that entire block. So what happened to the four people my age on the street? Well, as people passed them by and they called patiently for peoples leftovers, well all passed them at first. Then we kind of stopped and I asked if anyone wanted the food. My boyfriend and best friend agreed we did not need it. As I handed the food to one of the girls and quickly walked away I heard, "oh Sweet! Thank you!" and saw nothing but smiles from all four of them.

I have to say it ruined my night. Soon, I was angry passing every person walking on that block. Everyone just wanted to get in a bar, while some of the people on that street just wanted food. And here I bring you to the even that changed my life. I have encountered many events with homeless people. Each one shaking me, changing me, softening my heart. Last summer my brother and I helped a homeless woman cross a street who just recently lost her home because of losing her job. And I thought to myself...Wheres her family in this whole mess? Where was anyone? Why was it that the 19 and 17 year old were helping her cross the street and we couldnt do anything more but just leave her there with 5 bucks?

I could of slapped myself for not carrying more money in my wallet that day. But not everyone has the same outlook as me do they? They think it only goes to alcohol, but no one offers to buy food, to ask what they need. Just a week before I went to San Diego, Jon Foreman, lead singer of the band Switchfoot wrote an article in the Huffington post about this exact topic.

He states,"At Stand Up For Kids I've seen her eyes shine with joy when she gets a cool pair of donated jeans. How lucky! Yes, her mom might be in prison. Maybe, she doesn't know where her dad is. Chances are she has nowhere to sleep tonight. But you see a resilience in her eyes. A fire. A spark. How lucky, a pair of jeans that fit! How lucky, my friend is here! How lucky. And us. We unfortunate souls. Complaining about our lukewarm coffee, about our cellular service, about the smell of this airborne neighbor of mine. At the Bro-Am I met a young man named Sean who graduated from high school while battling homelessness. He went to Haiti a few weeks later to help kids that were less fortunate. He chose to call himself lucky and overcome his situation. He chose to call himself lucky and help other less fortunate folks out. In all of my years I've never heard any of the aforementioned kids complain about their situation. Not even in passing And yet most conversations I overhear around the world have grumbling overtones. We're so good at it. It comes so naturally. And besides we've had years of practice. If you're dressing for the occasion, grumbling is always appropriate. I am not throwing stones! I've spent an embarrassing amount of time grumbling better than anyone. But I'd like turn in my grumbling rights. I'd like to burn the authorization that I was born with, the authorization to complain, moan, and sigh heavily. I'd like to surrender my weapons of privilege. Here and now, I lay them down. Maybe their ashes float gracefully in that exquisite air that lingers between 40G and 40F."

I could not agree with him more. So while my experiences seem to be a constant reminder that God is giving me, I think we need to be aware of how big of the situation truly is in the world. And what better place to be aware than in Santa Clarita, which makes tremendous efforts to hide them away. This is my heart, and I want to do just this: I want to help them. End of story. I hope this becomes your heart too, if not already.

Love Sam

and the purple just bleeds

Dear Solana,

I sit here eating my smarties, which by the way Im not supposed to be having,(shhh dont tell mom! oh wait...Im screwed. Mom has a facebook :p)contemplating whether or not I wanted to put this up. Then finally i just decided that I had nothing to lose nor fear. I did not plan on getting diagnosed with lupus. But I think it is important for people to understand why this needed to be put up, and why I chose to get this tattooed on my wrist.

It took five years for a diagnoses. It took five years of going insane. It took five years of having my mom be the only to think there was genuinely think there was something wrong with me. And it took five years for my family to help me find a diagnoses. None of which they gave up on me for. And now here I am today. Looking for better ways to live the life in which I have left. So here I go. Explanation number 2.

I have as of late met and talked with a lot of women who have had lupus. Ive heard peoples stories out, read books, read blogs, researched internet sites out, and yup my brain is filled with enough information to pack Dodger Stadium on a losing streak (yes its that insane). So, Im a little overwhelmed, but to be honest, I'm putting the puzzle together. As one author said, "Im suppressing the wolf". And in all this, at the end of the day, I had hardly read any information that did not include this element of depression. I felt it important to have a tattoo that REALLY stated something about my disease.

So,on my wrist is a tattoo of a ribbon that stands for lupus and a cross smack right on top. That makes two crosses on my body. That should really tell someone something I hope. I want people to know that Christ is the center of my disease. That He has ordained this for me and I am not one bit angry, sad, or even wondering why He chose this for my life. Instead, my mom and I have really trusted Him with this and we are thankful that He is blessing my family and I with the tools to really equip me to live the best life I can.

So things are changing. And Im feeling better. Ive learned a lot on the way. Ive learned that my liver is partially damaged, and that with the proper diet and exercise I can heal it. Ive learned that the pain may never truly go away but its gotten way better with this better diet and exercise. Ive also learned that this is lifelong. There is no going back. Kinda like the tattoo. Theres no going back.

And as I eat my last smartie, which I really should be done with, for like...ever, I really want to raise awareness. Not just for my disease, but also that I'm handling this the best way possible. Through Christ. And always. Hes the center of the ribbon. Hes the center of the disease. And if I can begin to understand that He ordained this, than I truly believe I can serve Him wherever He wants me.

So with that. School is going really well and so is my job(which is a miracle). God is really good. Thank you for your prayers. I will continue to update as needed. :]

love Sam!

Color me Purple

Dear Solana,

So it is now come to pass that I have been diagnosed with Lupus. As my family and I start this journey of research, I kinda realized I dont fully understand what I have. Ive read the books and seen the web pages. Ive listened to peoples stories and yet I think I need to say Im not nearly as depressed as everyone thinks I am. And maybe this is why. Every page I went to that was related to "living with lupus" ended with a sad story of death. Thanks be to God, mine is not that serious. Serious...but not that serious. So lupus basically is my immune system attacking itself causing damage to the tissue in my body and randomly pops out of no where...and randomly disappears.

Im thankful for all the prayers first and foremost and I realize now I need them more than ever. Specifically if you think of me this is what I need prayer in:
1. Strength to do my job more than just effectively. Working with ice all day and customer service and a fast paced environment isnt helpful to my body. Yet, so far God has sustained.
2. School. Ive noticed that my memory is fading and my ability to do school is extremely difficult. However, Ive always loved learning and if I need to find other means of educating myself I will but I prefer school. :]
3. Energy. Im completely zonked after any task. I can barely move boxes that are "light as a feather" and open the gallons of milk.
4. Pain. Pray that the pain will go away. At times it can be very intense. Thankfully it has not happened at work. Its difficult to walk around theme parks or even the mall now for long periods of time. I dont want this to stop me from doing anything...AKA the things i love to do like painting. or playing at the park.

So, here I am. 20 years old with an auto immune disease. Apparently a pretty serious one at that. To be quite honest it hasnt hit yet that this isnt going away. That this is a lifetime disease. My family knows no "small" trial. We go big...or well...we go home. To be honest, im not sad. Im not angry. Im thankful beyond all relief.

Ive lived 4 years with these symptoms going undiagnosed. Thinking that I was just allergic to the air and that was it. Somedays I felt like I was being a whimp for not being able to handle what life was throwing at me. The day to day stress. So, I worked through it. And now here I am realizing that just because I was diagnosed, doesnt mean Im gonna let it stop me from living my life. For doing work for the kingdom. I might not be able to go overseas, BUT hey. Ill take whatever God throws at me. Im all smiles. Im thankful. God has answered my prayer of a diagnoses.

If anything this has strengthened my relationship with Him. Thanks to all of you who are surrounding me in this time...well my lifetime actually. This is gonna be fun. This is life. Everyone has challenges. Mine is just gonna be my health.

"Go, then, earthly fame and treasure! Come, disaster, scorn and pain!
In Thy service pain is pleasure; with Thy favor, loss is gain.
I have called Thee, “Abba, Father”; I have set my heart on Thee:
Storms may howl, and clouds may gather, all must work for good to me."

Eric Liddell is my hero. He was a runner. Something I always aspired to be but never could achieve because of my body hindering me in someway. He stood up for his faith in ways that I could only dream of doing. He did missions in China, at a peak of persecution, and was killed for it. He ran. He served. He lived the way I want to live. And I too want to renew my strength. and mount up with wings like eagles. I want to run and no longer be weary nor faint.

lupus has my body. But it will not have me or my faith. :]

Love Sam

P.S. Explaining the title: lupus' ribbon is the color purple.

Where the Ink Meets the Ankle Bone

Dear Solana,

I have to genuinely say by the age of 20 I never thought I would have a tattoo. Here I am, almost twenty and have had my tattoo for about a month now. So before I start explaining why I am writing this letter let me set out some "ground rules". This isnt a letter that's asking people to debate whether or not tattoos are "spiritually okie dokie". I am a little past that debate...for some obvious reasons. Secondly, You are more than welcome to leave you're opinion on the matter, just know I may chose not to answer. And lastly, yes I do know it is there for life. Thank you.

The reason why I am writing this letter is to explain my thought process behind it all. 1. It did hecka hurt. Ironically the cross is actually what hurt the most. Does anyone else find it kind of funny that the "Together for the Gospel" logo is tattooed on my ankle? Makes me smile. 2. I did some research and found out that my names origin is in greek. Who would of thought. So tattooed around my ankle is the phrase "Corrine is redeemed through Jesus Christ".

I wanted to get something that reflected who I am. What makes the very essence of who I am today. I chose the word "redeemed" because of the power behind it. Redeemed literally means "to be bought". It makes me think of the lyrics to that one song..."Im bought with a price that is not my own/Im seated in the heavenlies". To think that I was bought really gets down to the core of the whole matter, and the fact that my Savior is whom bought me is pretty freaking awesome as well.

For the longest time I wrestled with getting a cross tattooed on me. It seemed like the proper mexican thing to do after all. I felt like a cross was extremely cliche. As if to say...Yep Im a Christian and Im gonna get the cross. Then I realized how much power there was behind the cross. If I was going to have words tattooed on me saying I was redeemed than it only makes sense to have the symbol of redemption on me. Duh! Although, it came out a tidge bit bigger than I planned, (and I love it), I realize how much it draws people to the eye. The cross is unlike anything I have seen before and it shows a meaning of unity through what is most important...The Gospel.

Essentially, thats what Im trying to get at. Whats the most important. The Gospel. Thats what its all about, and why not have something on me that reflects that very message...yeah...the Gospel. And why not have on me the very important thing that defines who I am. Yep, The Gospel. So, the next time you do not see me in jeans (good luck, cuz I wear them all the time) take a gander. I love that people ask me what it means in greek. It opens this new door for conversation. And I love it. It was purposeful. And exciting.

Love Sam